She used the analogy of a river and a waterfall. When your children are having tantrums, it is like they are in a boat on a river. The boat is heading over the waterfall (waterfall being their tantrum). Once on the course of the waterfall, they are going over. At all costs - she says - do not get in the boat with them. Instead stand on the shore and support them in their journey over the falls.
If one does decide to get in the boat with them, you are going over also. You can no longer support from an objective loving place - in fact you will be out of control yourself.
So why am I telling you this? Well, my "inner critic" is having a tantrum and I got in the boat with her and cascaded down the waterfall - out of control. Not a good feeling for someone who likes to feel in control of her emotions.
I can feel myself scrambling to make up all these excuses why I shouldn't do this San Francisco show - The American Craft Council Show. I know I am just trying to escape from this uncomfortable feeling of stretching and growing with my art.
What if no one likes it? I'll be so far from home. What if I get scared and want to cry? What if no one buys my art - Am I OK with that? Can I handle that? What if I freak out and have no friendly faces to support me as I go over the waterfall? Why do I do this?
The one solace I have is, I have another dear artist friend who I have watched go through the same thing. And I know how wonderful and fabulous she is, even if she doesn't always know and believe it herself. So I hang on to that, and know I can do this too. I can stretch, and it is OK if I don't always feel great while stretching. Ya know - sometimes that is the worse part - I beat myself up for getting scared while stretching, like I think I should always feel great and strong and in control.
So, here is to all people everywhere who stretch beyond their comfort zone - You are not alone and I applaud and support you in your journey!
8 comments:
I know just how you feel Terry! My paintings are being shown at a Public Hospital in Sydney and I have not had one bite!
However I decided before I showed them (at that time going through similar emotions to you) that just the joy of sharing my art was enough for me. The bonus would be if someone bought one.
Your art is fabulous, take it from me! I am sure every effort will be worth it. Stay with it!!
Thanks Patti. I tell myself the same thing, that my joy is the sharing and purchases are icing on the cake.
Congrats on you show - I'm sure your pieces are spreading lots of light and joy, esp in a hospital!
Oh Terry, this is a scary big thing to do. I can feel your insecurity and hesitation but I really believe that your fabric art is beyond the average. You underestimate yourself.
Are you talking about the show that is next weekend or a year from now? I went to the site and check it out. This is a big show but I think it would be great exposure for you.
If you are talking about doing this next year I would come down and support your efforts. I would be there and help you in any way. I believe you're a very good artist. All you need to do is let the boat go over the falls. After that it will be smooth and easy. Really! What's the worst thing that can happen? You don't sell anything? You forget where you parked your car?...or some uppity person tells you that you left a string showing on one of your pieces of art? But, think about it. So what... Afterwards you can drive back to Davis and say that you were in this show and you will have that experience.
You need to do this. I know you can do it.
Thank you Farmlady,
The words of encouragement feel good. I do know I can do this - it just feels yuck right now. I know that is because I am bumping into some old stuff.
I will feel very proud when I am done.
This is for this years show - this weekend the 13th thru the 15th
I so appreciate your offer of support. Thank you from my heart
Terry
Dear Terry,
Thank you for sharing how human you are! First of all let me say how much I admire you and your art.
I already KNOW how GOOD you are! I have to fight down doing comparisons in my head (because I don't create in a consistant style like Terry does; because I don't have a huge body of work like Terry does; etc etc etc.)
I will also remind you that you have already sold a lot of your art at shows in the past. The chances are very good that more will sell at this show.
I think the timing is good as people are already thinking about holiday gifts this time of year.
But all that aside, just BEING in this show is a Big Deal. It's a huge show with many good artists and you can see it as an honor to be amongst them and they amongst you!
I have seen your art at the Artery, at the outdoor park, and in your home shows and I have thought it looked GRAND in each venue. It will shine in SF as well.
Fort Mason is a very friendly feeling place. The parking is easy. The site is easy. People will come. You will have fantastic exposure and if that is all that happens that will be enough. But I will be very very surprised if nothing sells.
And if we can get away I will be a friendly face who shows up to see you and your work on one of the days over the weekend. I am looking forward to it. If you ever want to share a space in one of these shows let me know and we can hold each other's hands and deal with the waterfalls together. ;-)
Thank you Lynn,
A hand to hold going over waterfalls does sound good.
Thank you for telling me what the place is like. That can be part of the fear-all the unknown.
If you make it it will be nice to see you. Thanks for all the support.
We all have our noisy inner critics don't we. Last night I gave mine a job (learned that from the SARK class) I sent my inner critic out to count ALL the crows in Davis, and then sent her back out to count all their feathers. I believe she is still out there counting - thank goodness!
all those feathers to count means she won't be back for ages and ages certainly not before this show ends.
And by then you will be so high from the experience. Are you driving in each day or staying over in the City somewhere?
Just Enjoy it all Terry. You are So GOOD!!! Your ART is so much fun to see and own! I know, I love my pieces of it. And my daughter loves what I gave her of yours too. ;-)
Lynn,
Thank you for all your words of support and encouragement.
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