Green Gulch Zen Center

The journey of transformation isn't always easy.  Maybe it never is.  We get comfortable in our life.  We know what to expect.  Then we feel the wind tug at our heart, "come, this is the way".  There is a great gratitude for this tug, but sometimes it is difficult to have the faith that this whisper will guide us to a higher place.

and so the wind called to my heart this fall.  "Come...this is the way"  

Ahead I see a fork in the path.  I know, even before arriving at the fork that my path will lead to the right.  But I feel  a longing, a sadness for not taking the left road.  The left road is my past, my younger self.  

I am not sure I want to leave this path.  As exciting as it is to journey and explore, the right path holds the unknown.  

Where my higher self, my universal self knows this path leads to the garden of my heart, my human self wants to hold on to the worn and comfortable trail. 

And so I take the first steps towards the unknown.  I try to walk with grace, but I stumble...  and the wind caresses, she whispers, "it's OK - we all stumble".  The wind reminds me to open my eyes, open my heart, let go of the fear - I am not alone.  

and indeed when I open my eyes I see I am surrounded by a community of women - some who have traveled this way, others who traveled yet another path, but they are all there to remind me I am not alone.  

And so I found myself at Green Gulch Zen Center.  A class I signed up for 6 months ago, not knowing how perfectly timed it would be.

The class was called The Art of Pilgrimage.  It was a meditative hike in the Marin Headlands and through the Green Gulch Farm.  The photos are all from the gardens at the center.  

The wisdom I received from this experience was to open my heart and body to the journey - to be present to the feelings washing over and through me.  

I was reminded of the births of my two beautiful babies.  Both of my children were born at home.  My first labor was hard.  I was scared and I held my body very tight and closed, hence the labor was tight and closed. Not much room to expand into what was happening and allow by body to open naturally and let my little one flow out.  Instead it was a little more like pushing her out - holding her in - pushing her out - holding her in...

My second birth I did a lot of prep work.  I wanted to be fully present and to be open to the pain.  Feel the pain, feel my body open.  I had much more faith, because I had done this before.  I thought of myself and all the mothers before me who had done this.  I felt my whole body open.  I actually remember that feeling of opening and following my bodies rhythm.  I allowed myself to unfold.

So I take that same metaphor into this next phase of my life.  To trust in the natural rhythms of life and to open my heart and body.  I am learning again to allow the feelings to wash over and through me and to be present with this journey.  I don't want to wake up some day realizing I spent my life as seaweed - yes, gently flowing in and out with the rhythm of the tide, but having no direction of my own choosing.  Instead I strive to be more like the turtle who also lives within the natural rhythm of the sea, but she can propel her own direction within the flow of the sea. 

The pilgrimage was amazing and I hope to do it again next year.  I encourage any who may have an interest to check out the leader web site.  He is an amazing person, and had so much to share about the sacredness of pilgrimage.  

http://www.stevenkharper.com/